There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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