I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Can I color on your dick again?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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