I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
