you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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