actually, I'm a sock model
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
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