All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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