Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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