Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
