i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
