My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize