did you get engaged???
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
