i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
zippers are such a cool invention
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
