I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize