sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize