I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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