Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
