? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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