i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
