she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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