Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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