pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
