So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize