you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
