Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
