after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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