check it out our google latitudes are spooning
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
