maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
