Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
