I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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