We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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