So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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