addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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