Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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