my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
