when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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