when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
