There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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