I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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