How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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