why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize