Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
