I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
