I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
