On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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