I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
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