I think my vagina is haunted
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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