Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize