There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
