What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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