I think I died a long time ago.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
