By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
