the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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