I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
