I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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