i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
