so explain again why im purple
no
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's blow job season.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
