Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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