Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
