4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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