well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize