Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
