Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
